MAKE THIS PRINCE YOUR PIZZA-SEX MINION.”) She brings up marriage and he’s like, hey, I already got you a ring, want me to get it from the car? Jackie’s all, Nah I’m good with pizza for now. Later, we see these lovebirds talking about the two most important decisions a person can make: Should they order a pizza, and should they get married? Alan offers to get a pizza and bring it in for her “just like room service.” (My notes, verbatim: “MARRY THAT MAN, JACKIE. Fortunately, Jackie’s guy has discussed marriage and already has children (“Two kids, no stretch marks!” gotta love a pragmatist), and Jackie says they’re in love. Oh, and one more thing: They need Jackie to get married. Frank insists she’ll look like she “saw the light” and Remy says they can “roll some PAC money” her way, because America. Jackie is worried about what this two-step will require of her - first saying Underwood is bad for America, then jumping on his ticket - and also because she has no funding. On HOC, all good people must come to an untimely end.įrank has a plan to wreck Heather: getting Jackie to fake-run for office to divide the women’s vote. I like Heather, therefore I worry deeply about her. She’s got Michael Corrigan’s husband on her arm at every stop, a telegenic, sympathetic reminder of President Underwood’s inability to get Corrigan out of prison or stand up for LGBT rights. “You can’t compare unemployment to a cat-four hurricane!” Frank responds to this argument by threatening Arnold’s job. Frank is excellent at his job and also has a conscience. Or he and a lot of people will die trying.Īrnold Silver, head of FEMA, is stunned at Frank’s suggestion. Frank will bypass Congress until they have no choice but to join in. Should this be successful, it will kick the doors open for AmWorks to become a national program. Bask in the insanity that is this latest plot development!) This way, Frank can appropriate funds from FEMA - funds that would otherwise house American citizens who find their homes demolished from tornados, for instance - to employ every single unemployed person in Washington. (You may be thinking, But unemployment isn’t - that’s not - why would you ever …? Shh, quiet those logical thoughts. Is this because of that one time the District experienced an earthquake? Nope, it’s for unemployment. Happy Fourth of July! Let’s break down Frank’s AmWorks plan: He’s going to get the mayor of D.C., Barney Hull, to declare a state of emergency in Washington.
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